Genweglobal

Don’t put me in the box; my health is important.

Author: Alex Stevenson

Date: 8/26/25 8:30 a.m

We exist in a brutally unforgiving world infested with one-eyed vultures, preying on the weak. Your best move? Dodge their toxic embrace and seize every moment of your life, because whether you like it or not, you’ll have to confront these scavengers.

All around me, I witness the presence of meat eaters, their raccoon eyes and pungent breath a testament to their choices. It’s fascinating—did you know that the way you smell is intricately linked to what you consume? Here’s a fun fact: vegans too can have their off days; it all hinges on their food choices! I see those vibrant vegans in skid row, their rainbow shirts and flannel glasses boldly proclaiming, “We are the universe!”

I have no patience for each one of these groups, so I sought out vegetarians. I wanted to join their village; you see, vegetarians are quiet, and they are not highlighted as much; that impressed me, so I went to their leader. I wanted to join, but they said I had to get initiated by cutting the hair of a lion in 24 hours. I was astounded.

It was either that or go through the pit of fire and survive. The pit was a huge tent with nothing but fire and rocks inside with a small hole to crawl out at the bottom. I told them, “Bring me the lion.” As soon as they went for the cage, I took the leader’s spear and ran for it. It was clear I was fast, but the leader yelled, “We were only joking, come back,” but I continued out of the land of the unknown.

To this day, I refuse to step foot back there, so understand that I’m not a meat eater 90% of the time, but I relish certain vegan foods—fruits are my kingdom. I don’t conform to any label because every label comes with a tiresome initiation; I do what fuels my body and spirit. Saving the planet or cleaning the oceans? Not my concern. I believe if I just let nature be, it’ll sort itself out, chaos and all.

The next time someone encourages you to join a food group, feel free to say that my friend Alex mentioned he had a tough time with your group, and that’s why I’m hesitant to join. Remember, you matter more than you realize; I hope you have a wonderful day.